Thoughts on 98!
by HorsieMad4Ever
Summary: LBD! Lizzie thoughts through episode 98. First fanfic, please r and r.


"Excuse me Lizzie."

Lizzie span round so fast she nearly got whiplash. That voice! The voice the ever since she left Pemberly had haunted her dreams, day and night. She stared at him, gasping and trying to think of something coherent to say. How could he do this to her, just standing there? How could he reduce her to a to a stuttering, incoherent mess so easily. Gasping for something to say, her tounge spoke without her consent

"I thought you were Chinese." _I thought you were Chinese!_ Where the heck had that come from. I THOUGHT YOU WERE CHINESE! He probably thought she was a complete idiot. She could feel the blush rising up her neck. Desperately she tried not to blush. She hated it when she blushed, she looked like a tomato with hair.

"I can understand the confusion." Lizzie gave him a small smile. He looked nervous yet hopeful.

"Would you care to sit?" Somehow managing to rip her eyes from his face, Lizzie silently sat down.

"Do you film everything in your life?" Oh God, he probably thought she was some sort of psycho who filmed her every breath.

"No." she breathed looking up at the ceiling. " I swear you just have impeccable … timing." Damn, she shouldn't have looked at him. As soon as she laid eyes on his face, her voice faltered and she was fighting not to be pulled into those gorgeous, icy blue eyes.

"Well, I can't begrudge your videos certainly. They've been very … useful from my perspective." Useful? What did he mean by that? Lizzie wanted to scream. She was so confused. And Lizzie HATES being confused.

"I was surprised to see Charlotte." Damn, why couldn't she think of something to say. Her mind was blank, how could he affect her like this?!

"It's our birthday." she replied, it was the longest sentence she could think of. How pathetic was that?

"I'm sorry I didn't know-" he tried to say but Lizzie cut him of.

"No! Why would you? The little voice in her head that loved to torture herself whispered "If you hadn't been such an idiot before, he might have reason to know. You could have been happy with him. But you've blown it."

"Happy Birthday." Lizzie was pulled out of her thoughts to reply.

"Thank you."

"You called me." Lizzie inwardly cringed at the thought of her awkward voicemail.

"I left a message, yes." She muttered. Even at this moment, she couldn't help thinking "Obvious much?" at herself.

"I was in Chicago, so that's why I didn't get back to you sooner."

"Oh God! I thought you would just call me back, you didn't have to come here." He had come all the way from Chicago. Did that mean – No Lizzie! Don't go there. Getting your hopes up means getting hurt!

"Yes I did… I needed to see your face when I asked you why."

"Why?" The intense stare he was giving her made her feel like she was melting.

"Why did you call me?"

"I know, um, I've been watching your videos and I know that you have found out certain things about recent events."

"Recent events. You bought up whole companies to help my sister. For what you've done... we can't ever repay you."

"Your family owes me no thanks. As much as I have learnt to respect them, I did not do it for them. I did it for you."

Lizzie felt shock run through her. He'd done it for her. Could that mean, was it possible? Despite all her efforts, Lizzie felt hope rise in her chest for the first time in a long time.

"My gratitude is there, and always will be." she muttered, confused.

"Lizzie, I have to admit to some confusion, because you also said in your videos that we are not friends. And I realized you were right." Lizzie felt her heart drop about 3 feet. He didn't even want to be friends anymore. Mentally she berated herself for letting her hopes up.

"As much time as we spent together in San Francisco, we hadn't become friends, and then i thought perhaps you wanted to amend that."

"I do!" Lizzie said immediately. Damn it, now she sounded desperate. He must think her a total idiot.

"So you want to be friends." he said, his voice tight.

"Yes!" But she didn't want to be just friends, did she. Forcing herself to be brave, Lizzie tried to communicate that she didn't just want to be friends.

"Well, I mean, I uh." How did she say it?

"God, no wonder your confused." she muttered, furious at herself.

"Lizzie, I still feel the same way I felt back in the fall. More strongly even then I did then." Lizzie felt her breath catch in her throat. She couldn't breathe. He still loved her! Tears of relief and joy pricked at the corners of her eyes. He still loved her!

"So if you just want to be friends or say thank you for recent events-" Then it hit her. He still didn't know how she felt. Lizzie didn't need any more encouragement. She spun round and very gently kissed him.

As soon as their lips met, Lizzie felt a thrill shoot through her body. His lips felt perfect on hers, all thought melted away, they were the only two in existence. Then, slowly Lizzie pulled back. She felt surprised at herself. She had never been the bold one when it came to relationships. That had always been Lydia. Still, it had easily been the most wonderful sensation she had ever experienced.

"Does that ... clarify some things for you?" she whispered.

His blue eyes pierced her with that intense gaze as he replied.

"Some, but I could use some further illumination on certain points however."

And then he kissed her again. But this was nothing like the awkward, brief first kiss. It was passionate yet sweet at the same time, and much longer. Lizzie couldn't help smiling against his mouth. This was by far the happiest she had felt in a long time.

When they pulled apart, they rested their foreheads together and Lizzie began to gently stroke his tie.

"Just so you know, your not the only one whose confused." she said, unable to take the huge grin of her face.

"Really?" he replied, quietly.

"Well, we were getting along so well, at Pemberly. And then after I left, I didn't hear from you. I - I thought ..."

"I didn't know if you wanted to hear from me. I watched your videos and your focus was solely on your sister, as it should have been. And I realized I would have just been an unwelcome distraction.

"Not unwelcome." Lizzie smiled. "I promise." She wanted to tell him just how much he had been on her mind after she left Pemberly, but somehow, this wasn't the time.

"Then I heard what you said to Caroline about my life being my choice and your life being yours, and it got my hopes up again. Then I didn't know if that was just because of what you had found out-"

"I get it, confusing." Lizzie beamed. "God, for two such smart people, we can certainly act like idiots, can't we."

"One might even say it's our forte." Lizzie inwardly laughed at that.

"Well let me make things as clear as possible. William Darcy, I don't want to be just friends. And I don't want to be with you because I'm grateful. I want to be with you, because of you. Got it?" She wanted to tell him the depth of her feelings. Wanted to tell him that she loved him. But she didn't want to say it when the camera was rolling (she had recently realized that she had forgotten to turn it off.). Everything else in their relationship was out there on the internet. She anted that to be private, just the two of them.

Darcy raised a hand and gently brushed her hair off her shoulder, causing goosebumps to cover wherever he touched, along with a sudden inexplicable warmth.

"Clear as day, Lizzie Bennet."

Still beaming, Lizzie leaned in to kiss him once again. However a few seconds in Lizzie broke the kiss.

"One sec." she laughed. Beaming she reached to turn the camera off. After all, she smiled to herself, she had far more important things to do then film a video.


End file.
